2012 ~ the year of meditation ~

view of city from south loop/pilsen 2009

2011 was a good year.  It was a year of preparation and that is what happened.  Sara and I were able to pay off all of our debt and increase our charitable giving, I started graduate school, and we even managed to get 8 hrs of sleep a night most of the year ;-)

2012 looks to be a busy year--in 2 weeks I'll begin my second semester of grad school, move to working part-time at my current job, and begin the adventure of full-time grad school.  This summer I hope to road trip to visit PhD programs and in the fall I will begin my final year of grad school and my thesis.  I will also be applying to PhD programs.

With all that is on my plate, especially in the realm of study and plans for the future, it is imperative that the truth find a home DEEP in my heart.  To that end, this is the year of mediation.  My intellect is an important part of my life and my intimacy with God.  All the exercise it is going to be getting with a full-time grad school class load means that my heart needs to be kept fit as well.  Rather than reading through the Bible again, as I have in past years, it has become clear that I need to go deep and build strong habits.  I will be reading through the Bible with a program that has been recommended to me at least 2 years in a row, including by Doug (post linked to above).  If you decided to do this as well, please let me know and perhaps we can share some of our fruit.

This will be a busy, full year, but I am certain that it will also be a year like none other for growth in maturity and intimacy with Christ.

many thanks to Jason Clark and his wonderful photo skills for this fun pic!

a cruciform heart

Reading my blogroll at work might be a dangerous practice.  Lately there have been too many posts that pierce my heart.  Not sure if the piercing is from the pointedness of the posts, or the thinness of my heart skin.  

Ann writes heartbreakingly of being abandoned in the jungle and being broken in your affluence and I can barely take it in.  Her words dance past my walls and barriers, going straight for the softest places in my heart, never caring what my intellect wants to say to keep a safe distance.

And then another comments on this story, with her own chapter of heart-tearing, truth bearing reality and I wonder if I will ever be capable of such transparency.  When I think I am full up and there is no more room to hear hearts crying or truth piercing, the wonderful encourager at Gypsy Momma weighs in about the beauty and power of being free to not be fine.

Thanksgiving wells up that I have this silent Monday to reflect and be quiet.  Come, Lord Jesus.  Break me open to make me whole.

Poverty of Heart, My Impoverished Heart

There have been quite a few posts going across my screen over the last month that have been challenging my views of people in need, poverty, giving, and what it means to be Jesus to the world.  These two were particularly thought provoking and I didn't want them to get lost in the Facebook abyss.

The first is from RZIM : Free Lunch Economy, which shares a story about Henri Nouwen and his work L'Arche in Canada.  I wrestle so much (and at times not enough) with my fallen thinking that values the people around me for their ability to perform, their perceived value generally, or how they will benefit me.  I am shamed or called to repentance almost daily.  At least that means that the truth is illuminating my heart...

The second is from Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience.  The Lord has been using her incredibly to break my heart with the truth and to help me see the reality of his grace all around me.  This particular post, though, wrestles with the very real fear that poverty and pain, the reality of meeting those they have loved from a distance through Compassion, will not truly pierce their hearts.  Won't open them up to new life.  I don't even have words for how this resonates in my heart.

May you too know the pain of conviction and the joy of know that it means the Spirit is moving in your heart!

MOVING!

Sara and I have taken a lease on a new apt just up the street from our current one. Our lease will start Oct 1st on this 2-bedroom third-floor walk-up and we are VERY excited. We were looking for a place where we could settle down for a few years and really get invested in our neighborhood. The apt is circled(?) in purple in the image above. All of those windows are ours and face west for some beautiful sunlight. After we move in and get things situated I'll try to get more pics up. One exciting development is that the additional space should give me a full-time sewing/creating space.

Quilt inspiration

This quilt was the Quilt of the Day at Sew Mama Sew. Thought it might inspire some visual fun if I shared it here.

photos compliments of Leila Badbloods Flickr photostream