19 October 2007

New Quote

I would like to draw your attention to my new quote. I have included the text here because that quote will change eventually and no one reading this old post will know what I am talking about:-)

You will make all kinds of mistakes: but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. Winston Churchill

I read this, of all places, in "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." I picked up a copy at school, randomly opened it, and saw this quote. It was so comforting that I wrote it in permanent marker on the cover of the notebook that serves as my gradebook at school. Believe me, I need to read that every time I start a class! Why? Well, it is a long drawn out story that rambles over every area of my life, but let it suffice to say, I have a VERY hard time untangling my worth from my performance.

Before you get too concerned and start pronouncing the obvious, let me calm your fears. I have talked to more than one counselor about this and have been bravely battling it for over a year now, but it is a deeply embedded thought process and not one that is easy to dislodge. So I try to surround myself with truth in many forms that will combat this obsession. In addition to being difficult and inconvenient to feel down when MY performance isn't up to par, it is even worse teaching. Because then the issue is not just my ability to perform, but also my students' ability to succeed.

If they do not do well then I MUST be doing something wrong, right? If I was just more patient, a better teacher, more prepared, more authoritative, less harsh, more consistent, etc. everything would be beautiful and I would be valuable, right?

I need a lot of encouragement on this front and A LOT of truth on a regular basis. So, I was glad to see this quote and I wanted all of you to have a chance to think about it as well.

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